Ski Porn Review: Warren Miller's "Off The Grid"

Two weeks ago, I met up with a bunch of friends in Laguna Beach to see Warren Miller's latest movie, "Off The Grid." As described in an earlier post, the weekend was a lot of fun. However, "Off the Grid" was a disappointment when compared with his earlier works. I've always considered Warren Miller's movies to be a cut above the rest of the movies in the Ski Porn biz. True to the term ski porn, most movies these days are just a quick fix for not being out on the mountain. They put the focus on loud music, hucking insane cliffs, out-skiing/surviving avalanches and annoying park scenes. Sometimes this is exactly what I am looking for. But while enjoyable, like watching a porn, they generally leave you unfulfilled and empty afterwards.

In contrast, Warren's earlier movies have at least made an effort to get at the soul of the sport, communicating what makes skiing such a wonderful sport. His quirky commentaries have brought us back to Sun Valley circa 1950, taken us on a fox chase (on skis) with the 87 year old Klaus Obermeyer, or introduced us to the Schrab brothers who built a ski jump on their grandfather's farm in Wisconsin. When compared to some of the better surfing movies like "Step into Liquid" or "Riding Giants", even Warren's earlier movies could have worked harder to get at skiing's soul. Unfortunately though, "Off the Grid" was a move in the opposite direction. I want a movie that reminds me of why I love to ski.

The first question that I have to ask is where was Warren? Is he sick? If not, I hope he's going to be back next year. For "Off the Grid", he was replaced as the narrator by Jeremy Bloom, the former Olympic mogul skier and Philadelphia Eagle. I'm sure Jeremy worked really hard on the film and for the most part was just reading a script, but the commentary was lacking. It consisted mostly of brief intros of the skiers and ski areas interspersed with the skiers' themselves making cheesy "off the grid" comments...i.e. "This place was off the grid". Every once in a while there would be a comment by Warren. But it was never more than a sentence and it sounded like it was just a dubbed clip from a previous movie.

My favorite part of the movie was the section covering the expedition to the Indian ski town (if you call it that) of Gulmarg. Gulmarg is a small village in the Himalayas with a few ski lifts. In addition to some great skiing footage, it also introduced us to an area of the world we probably would never think of skiing. This might seem cheesy, but the scenes of them teaching the children in the village to ski really reminded me of the joy of learning to ski. We are so removed from the learning experience we had when we were little that we forget the tremendous rush of excitement we got the first time we slid down a slope with the two sticks on the bottom of our feet. After all, its this rush that kept us coming back and spending thousands of dollars on gear. With all of the great expeditions going on these days, I'd like to see more of this type of footage, which expands our horizons of where we could go skiing.

The Alaskan heli-skiing section at the end had some amazing footage. The terrain was sick and lines they skied left me drooling. But from a cinematographic viewpoint, I'd like to see less zoom and more long range shots. This gives you a better feel for just how crazy the terrain they are skiing is. I just don't think you get a proper feeling for it until you see just small they are compared with the slope/vertical wall that they are skiing down.

The next gripe is with the section on Jamie Pierre's ridonkulous 250 ft cliff jump. I first want to say that its absolutely incredible what he attempted. I say attempted, because it was more like a swan dive than jumping the cliff on skis. He basically did a half flip and landed flat on his back. I hate to chastise them about social responsibility, but do we really want to make people think that you can do something like he did (land flat on your back after falling 250 ft) and walk away. My answer is no. But also, to me, it shouldn't count as any sort of record until he actually lands it. Not that I have the balls to even attempt it (it takes a lot for me to even huck a 5 or 10 footer), but anyone could fall 250 feet off of a cliff and land flat on their back. The trick is landing it. He didn't do it. So why make such a big deal out it.

I'm sorry if I'm coming off as a hater...I don't mean to be so negative. I just think they can do better. I would really love to see someone make a great ski movie that really touches at the soul of the sport. Maybe my hopes are just unrealistic. Unfortunately, "Off the Grid" falls short of those expectations. I'm not necessarily looking for the skiing equivalent of a Scorsese flick. I'm just looking for something better. While its enjoyable to watch and will not doubt get you fired up to get some pow this ski season, it's nothing more than a quick fix.

Mushy Longboard Waves and Riding Giants

Since I wasn't in Mammoth enjoying 16" of the Sierra's finest, I felt compelled to make my way down to Tourmaline (San Diego) to catch some waves this morning. I was pleasantly surprised. It was great longboard conditions...3 foot waves which which you could seemingly ride forever. While not nearly as good as skiing powder or skiing steep chutes, catching a good wave is pretty damn nice!

Speaking of surfing, I just recently saw the movie "Riding Giants." It's a documentary covering the history of big wave surfing. As much as I love Warren Miller, it puts any ski porn that I've seen to shame as far as quality. Besides just being a great story, what struck me about the movie was how similar the big wave surfer ethos is to skiing.

Like the ski mountaineers who continually push the limits on first descents, the pioneers of big wave surfing did the same with 30 foot walls of water. Some lost their lives, others like Mike Stang in Waimea Bay became legends. Similar to the best mountain guides, they were experts in their environment. They knew where every break was and how the weather would affect it. When their boards were limiting them, they experimented with new designs and materials that would allow them to surf still bigger waves. Also like skiing, in the beginning, there were few women out there. The waves were the love of their life. Similar to Alta Gold powder, it was an addiction that kept them come back and back for more. It was their life.

Riding Giants continues on to the 1969 "Swell of the Century" (similar to weather channel "Storm of the Century" references???) that hit Hawaii. Big wave surfing legend Greg Nolan attempted to surf and was completely annhilated by it. Like the best ski moments, unfortunately no photos were taken. The moment was too pure to disturb with a camera. Even though he only just made it down the crest of the wave before it crushed him, he described it as being right up with the birth of his first child. In skiing, we says that if you're not falling, you're not trying hard enough. It's the same in surfing. He pushed the limits and he fell...but so what.

The story continues on to the development of the Bonzai Pipeline, the discovery of Maverick's (like the best powder stashes kept secret from the general surfing community for 15 years) in Northern California and Laird Hamilton's introduction of the jet ski to hit bigger waves than previously thought humanly possible. I must compliment the director on his choice to include numerous shots of ex professional volleyball player/supermodel Gabrielle Reese talking about her husband Laird Hamilton. Unlike skiing, surfers do get all the cute women today.

All in all, its an awesome movie. While touching on the history of skiing, Warren Miller's movies are not in the same league as "Riding Giants". I would love to see a serious movie about the evolution of skiing...dealing with everything from the first Austrians in St. Anton to the first single chair lift at Mad River Glenn to some of the first descents in the Chugach today.

What is Ski Porn?

That is the question I have gotten from some of my non-skiing friends. Some didn't know what it was while others, like my mother, were offended and thought that I was actually writing a review of the latest skin flick. Ski porn is hard core skier lingo for ski videos. If you don't believe me, just google it and you'll find a whole array of good clean ski videos to choose from. Ski porn is what we, who are addicted to skiing, use to satisfy our cravings when we can't get out to the slope.

Although not the same as when you are out there yourself, its still pretty invigorating/inspiring to watch the guy or the girl in the video skiing a beautiful line in knee deep powder down an insanely steep (>50 degree) pitch in the Chugach. You wish it were you when they huck a 50 ft cliff and land it effortlessly. You're glad its not you when the landing doesn't go so smoothly and the aforementioned huck is followed by 20 cartwheels down the slope without the skis releasing. My ACL hurts just watching. Even though what they do far exceeds our abilities, it does motivate us to get in the car for that 9 hour drive in search of good snow and great terrain. So, if I offended you, I'm sorry. But ski porn is what it is and I will not give in to political correctness and call them ski movies. That just sounds so lame.

Ski Porn Review: Altavision

Before leaving Alta last weekend, I got my hands on the first Wahsatch Powder Productions release entitled "Altavision". It is a simple, extremely low budget movie that focuses on great powder skiing. What I liked best about the movie is that they kept the focus on the skiing. The movie was basically one big face shot. It was only a matter of how you got to it: deep powder in open bowls, landing in powder after hucking a 40 ft cliff, or making beautiful turns through the trees. Unlike most other videos today, they did have a park scene, but it was kept to a minimum. Additionally, the Stevie Wonder bloopers scene was hysterical. Their crashes are far better than the standard Warren Miller falling off a lift or firemen running into each other. They are also more believable than those videos which show guys getting swept off a 50 ft cliff by an avalanche and walking away. If we got off of our butt, took a drink, and got a little courage, these were things that we might actually attempt. You can't help but laugh at each crash. The scene proves true the old saying we had on the boat, "Another person's misery is our greatest joy!"

While I really enjoyed the movie, there are a few areas that they could improve on for their next production. First, the movie needs more dialogue. It had the skiing and it even had decent music. But it would be more interesting to have a narrarator talking about where they're skiing, philosophizing about skiing powder, or even just introducing some of the skiers. Secondly, there are lots of interesting personalities at Alta and it would be cool to hear some of their stories. For example, Rob the guy I wrote about from the lift the other day was hysterical. A monologue with him just going off would be great. Finally and most importantly, the movie needs more chicks. I'm not saying that they need to blow their budget and bring in Sarah Burke or Ingrid Bakstrom, but it would be nice for them to showcase some women skiers and to let us know that they are women.

Despite my criticisms, overall I thought it was a fine piece of ski porn and highly recommend it. If you're interested in obtaining a copy, you can email Wahsatch Powder Productions at: wahpowprod@yahoo.com.